Identity Crisis

The Best Thing Ever has recently happened to me, but as a side effect from that, The Most Ironic Thing Ever has also happened.

Right now I am sprawled on the couch getting annoyed at the vile little Tory on Question Time, it’s 11.30pm and I am contemplating eating cold enchiladas – I needed BEANS tonight. This may be because I am pregnant. At 11 weeks gone, I am just about getting my head round the idea, but I remain amazed not only at the wide ranging ‘side effects’ but also at which the side effects kicked in. I have now been feeling sick constantly for nearly two months, and have absolutely no energy to do anything (hence lack of blogs recently), which is none too pleasant. I am also eating like a hippo, with odd requests for Arctic roll, cheap greasy pork pies, rhubarb yoghurt, crispy seaweed and stuffed olives….

But by far the worst pregnancy symptom, and bringing us nicely back on to the blog topic – is that I have completely and utterly gone off coffee!!!! This is devastating. Back in the good old days (September) I would want, nay, need a cup within half an hour of getting out of bed. On an average day, I’d then drink another 4 or 5 cups. I’d actually get headaches when I was prevented from doing so. Everytime I got remotely thirsty – or even just bored, I’d think “coffee!. Not any more. Now, I don’t have any desire for the stuff at all. I haven’t had a cup in weeks, and not really noticed. (Although, it does occur that this may account for my chronic lack of energy). I tried to force myself to drink some – just a latte, on the Doctor Coffee van the other day, just to make sure the machine was calibrated right for the day, and two mouthfuls of it made me wretch! Not a great advert for my business, but sadly it does mean that espressos are going to have to be checked by eye and stop watch alone. Or Carl.

I am having an identity crisis… no coffee, no booze, having to admit that I can’t do everything I want to because I can only stay awake for twelve hours right now…. This is Not Bel. And I do not like it one little bit.

*sigh* I KNOW it’ll all be worth it eventually, but the coffee thing really unsettles me. I don’t recognise myself!